Sigh. That is the only way I can think to start this off. Here I am 15 days into this month, what was supposed to be the first big month on my way to a great year...and I have accomplished literally nothing.
I would love to say it isn't entirely my fault, and that part of it comes from being a victim of circumstance. The truth though, is that I could probably be trying harder. I still don't have a job, I have a filled out application, and I even have a willing reference...so why haven't I turned it in?
Because I am probably the biggest procrastinator out of anyone I have ever met.
There. I said it. I want a job, even if it is for the selfish fact that having money will allow me to do the things that 'I' want to do. I know many people will say that they want a job to pay the bills, and obviously that's the grown up part of it, But really I just want to be able to buy the things i want, and do what I want to do. I feel like a 25 year old trapped in a 7 year old's body. I have been unemployed (for the most part) for so long, and now I have a huge list of things I wish I owned-- And here's the thing! Where most people would list things like a car, a house, a boat, an iphone...My list is actually relatively cheap small stuff. I don't have million dollar dreams. 1000 dollars would buy my entire 200+ Item Amazon WishList (including shipping on each individual item!)
Anyways, I know this sounds like I am just whining about not having a bunch of useless crap I want, but thats not exactly it. In this day and age EVERYTHING costs money, and thats where the real problem lies. How can I achieve my bicycling goal without a bicycle? For the kind I would need to push the distances I want to push, its not going to be cheap.
Well, Im tired of writing right now.
This post seems like I am just whining about not having things, but really I'ts just me realizing I need to get motivated...
No comments:
Post a Comment