Id just like to note that it is now 28 days into the year and I still have yet to actually make any progress. I can make excuses all day but the truth is there is none. Argh.
I have this idea in my head of what/who I want to be. The problem with this sort of thing is its a huge change from the person I am now, in almost every way. I still want to be able to geek out and enjoy the things I enjoy in life, but the 'overall' things I want to achieve the most are:
Success
Fitness
Happiness (No worries)
Success is a tough one. Im going to have to get back into college, and be serious this time. I think my ultimate goal (in order to feel successful) would be to have a 'titled job'. I don't want to have to say 'I work at _______', I want to say I am a _____________ (Veterinary Tech, CPA, Resource Management Supervisor etc, you get the idea.)
Fitness is tough because it comes back to my natural procrastination. I tell myself that I would work out if I had access to a gym, but because I don't I have no motivation to even try. I do believe a gym membership would motivate me, but it shouldn't take that much.
Tax time is here and soon I will (hopefully) be getting a little bit of money. I am making it a point to put some of that money towards bettering myself. I hope to be able to afford a bike and some weights, and I may even buy a few months membership at the local gym.
February-August Is a good timeline I feel. I hope to lay out a plan soon and be fit (or at least noticeably more fit than I am now) and enrolled in college within that time period.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Its like I have a one track mind, and its going the wrong way...
Sigh. That is the only way I can think to start this off. Here I am 15 days into this month, what was supposed to be the first big month on my way to a great year...and I have accomplished literally nothing.
I would love to say it isn't entirely my fault, and that part of it comes from being a victim of circumstance. The truth though, is that I could probably be trying harder. I still don't have a job, I have a filled out application, and I even have a willing reference...so why haven't I turned it in?
Because I am probably the biggest procrastinator out of anyone I have ever met.
There. I said it. I want a job, even if it is for the selfish fact that having money will allow me to do the things that 'I' want to do. I know many people will say that they want a job to pay the bills, and obviously that's the grown up part of it, But really I just want to be able to buy the things i want, and do what I want to do. I feel like a 25 year old trapped in a 7 year old's body. I have been unemployed (for the most part) for so long, and now I have a huge list of things I wish I owned-- And here's the thing! Where most people would list things like a car, a house, a boat, an iphone...My list is actually relatively cheap small stuff. I don't have million dollar dreams. 1000 dollars would buy my entire 200+ Item Amazon WishList (including shipping on each individual item!)
Anyways, I know this sounds like I am just whining about not having a bunch of useless crap I want, but thats not exactly it. In this day and age EVERYTHING costs money, and thats where the real problem lies. How can I achieve my bicycling goal without a bicycle? For the kind I would need to push the distances I want to push, its not going to be cheap.
Well, Im tired of writing right now.
This post seems like I am just whining about not having things, but really I'ts just me realizing I need to get motivated...
I would love to say it isn't entirely my fault, and that part of it comes from being a victim of circumstance. The truth though, is that I could probably be trying harder. I still don't have a job, I have a filled out application, and I even have a willing reference...so why haven't I turned it in?
Because I am probably the biggest procrastinator out of anyone I have ever met.
There. I said it. I want a job, even if it is for the selfish fact that having money will allow me to do the things that 'I' want to do. I know many people will say that they want a job to pay the bills, and obviously that's the grown up part of it, But really I just want to be able to buy the things i want, and do what I want to do. I feel like a 25 year old trapped in a 7 year old's body. I have been unemployed (for the most part) for so long, and now I have a huge list of things I wish I owned-- And here's the thing! Where most people would list things like a car, a house, a boat, an iphone...My list is actually relatively cheap small stuff. I don't have million dollar dreams. 1000 dollars would buy my entire 200+ Item Amazon WishList (including shipping on each individual item!)
Anyways, I know this sounds like I am just whining about not having a bunch of useless crap I want, but thats not exactly it. In this day and age EVERYTHING costs money, and thats where the real problem lies. How can I achieve my bicycling goal without a bicycle? For the kind I would need to push the distances I want to push, its not going to be cheap.
Well, Im tired of writing right now.
This post seems like I am just whining about not having things, but really I'ts just me realizing I need to get motivated...
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Madman 2.0 for 2014.
So I went and did it...I deleted every single one of the previous 80 or so blog entries I have written over the years. New Year, new me, new(ish)blog. As far as I am concerned this is now my accountability blog. I'm going to chronicle my thoughts, goals, wishes and whatever else I feel like writing about, and hopefully by the end of the year, I can look back and be proud of myself.
The reason I have decided to erase all of my previous work and start over is that I realized my previous entries were all composed one of three different ways:
1.) Random postings where I ramble incoherently about a topic off the top of my head.
-While these are fun to write, I felt like there was no real formula to them, bad structuring makes for a difficult read.
2.) Posts where I whine and complain about a problem while making no progress in reversing it.
-These are just uncalled for. The negativity was ridiculous and it made me feel like a huge crybaby.
3.) "Reporting" Entries. There where times I would just write things that were not even about me.
-I would just find something that interested me and 'report it' via my blog. Its nice to mention some interesting information, but to devote a whole post to the latest sports scores and such is ridiculous.
So now is the part where I lay out all my New Years Resolutions and how I am going to achieve them right?
Wrong. Try again.
If I knew all that, what would be the point of writing all of this? I would be out there actually doing it! So I will re-start this blog very simply with a quick rundown of my goals for 2014. As for how to achieve them- only time will tell.
-Get a job
-Get back into school in the Fall
-Save up and buy a Road Bike (A specific kind of bicycle used for long distance riding)
-Ride that bike on a Century ride. (100 miles in one day)
-Get in better shape
-Make more friends
-Design a game room/man cave. (Im not a huge gamer by any means but the idea of a room just for things I like has always been fascinating.)
-Go to a comic/scifi/whatever convention.
-Get back into art.
-Start a youtube channel.
Well thats all off the top of my head. 2014 here we go, wish me luck.
The reason I have decided to erase all of my previous work and start over is that I realized my previous entries were all composed one of three different ways:
1.) Random postings where I ramble incoherently about a topic off the top of my head.
-While these are fun to write, I felt like there was no real formula to them, bad structuring makes for a difficult read.
2.) Posts where I whine and complain about a problem while making no progress in reversing it.
-These are just uncalled for. The negativity was ridiculous and it made me feel like a huge crybaby.
3.) "Reporting" Entries. There where times I would just write things that were not even about me.
-I would just find something that interested me and 'report it' via my blog. Its nice to mention some interesting information, but to devote a whole post to the latest sports scores and such is ridiculous.
So now is the part where I lay out all my New Years Resolutions and how I am going to achieve them right?
Wrong. Try again.
If I knew all that, what would be the point of writing all of this? I would be out there actually doing it! So I will re-start this blog very simply with a quick rundown of my goals for 2014. As for how to achieve them- only time will tell.
-Get a job
-Get back into school in the Fall
-Save up and buy a Road Bike (A specific kind of bicycle used for long distance riding)
-Ride that bike on a Century ride. (100 miles in one day)
-Get in better shape
-Make more friends
-Design a game room/man cave. (Im not a huge gamer by any means but the idea of a room just for things I like has always been fascinating.)
-Go to a comic/scifi/whatever convention.
-Get back into art.
-Start a youtube channel.
Well thats all off the top of my head. 2014 here we go, wish me luck.
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